Growing up, I was always very self conscious. I tried to hide my low self esteem with pretend confidence and I guess it worked. People still come up to me today and tell me that they love how confident I am in myself. I think that being a girl in this world is difficult enough but also being fat makes life so much harder. People look at you differently because you are in some ways an outcast.
Luckily I grew up playing a lot of sports and I had a lot of different hobbies that allowed me to stay physically fit. The major problem was that I was fed terribly unhealthy foods and I didn’t understand portion control and that you’re supposed to eat everything in moderation.
I’ve recently read a lot of articles about how the body positivity movement is unhealthy. This idea is totally understandable but as a fat person, I know that it is important to feel confident in yourself. It is really hard to go out and workout when you don’t feel comfortable with yourself.
By no means am I saying that people should care more about being self confident than being healthy. I think that healthy is beautiful. I’ve never felt very beautiful. I constantly struggled with feeling like I could ever be loved because of my size. I was incredibly lucky to meet such an amazing guy that supports me and motivates me to become who I want to be. He loves me for me and not for my size. Although he told me that I was beautiful all of the time, I didn’t believe him. Now that I am working on my health I am starting to feel more beautiful. I think it has to do with me feeling happier. Now when I look in the mirror I see what I never saw before.
I really believe that everyone should feel beautiful but I also believe that everyone should be healthy. I think that everyone thinks that healthy is one thing but everyone has their own definition of “healthy” for themselves. There aren’t very many people that are great advocates in this subject. There are larger girls that don’t preach health to other larger girls, they just preach self love. People that are overweight need someone that is like them to be a role model on how to live a healthier life. If there is a skinny person that tells fat people to eat better, they just aren’t going to listen.
The one person that really inspired me was Joe Cross. He is the reason I am doing a juice cleanse. It was amazing to see a documentary of a real person that struggled with being overweight. I think that the world needs more advocates that are overweight and are making a change in a healthy way.
Body image is always going to be a problem. I believe that everyone deserves to feel happy with their bodies whether they are making healthy changes or not. I also believe that everyone deserves to know how to make themselves healthy. Once people have the information to help them be healthy but they choose not to use it, it is on them.
I don’t really know if I said all that I wanted to say because I have a lot of thoughts. I hope this makes sense to everyone but me. This post is really just stream of consciousness.